Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronnie Howard.
Also starring Don knotts.
Good... thank you for calling.
Good-bye.
Yes?
Oh, uh, I'd like to see Mr. Jackson, please.
He's quite busy.
Do you have an appointment, mister, uh...
Taylor, sheriff Taylor of Mayberry.
No, I don't have an appointment
but I'd 'preciate if you'd tell him I'm here.
Mr. Jackson, a sheriff Taylor from Mayberry
is here to see you.
Taylor? I don't know any Taylor.
What does he want?
I'm here to arrest him.
He's here to arrest you.
Arrest!
What is all this?
'Member me?
I... believe so.
Yes! Yes.
That speeding ticket, 'member?
Coming through Mayberry about two weeks ago?
You said you had to get on to an important meetin'
so I let you go
on the condition that you'd come back on the 20th
and stand trial... 'Member?
Well, the 20th was last Wednesday
and you didn't come.
Oh, yes, well, it, uh...
It completely slipped my mind.
Would you like to come into my office?
I'm sure we can straighten this out.
Fine.
Sit down, sir.
Oh, thank you.
Now, about, uh... Two weeks ago
you said I came through your town, huh?
That's right.
Well, well!
You really are a conscientious sheriff, aren't you?
I would imagine you'd have your hands full
way out there in Mayberry
running down chicken thieves and curfew breakers.
Er, would you like a cigar?
No, thank you.
Oh, maybe I will take one for my deputy.
He likes one when he's feeling special sporty.
Thank you.
Now... 'Bout the summons.
Oh, yes, well, I'll have miss fenwick draw up a check.
Well, I'm afraid there's more than a fine involved.
Oh
Well, you can get your hat and come on.
To Mayberry?
You're really insisting on my appearing?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, come on, sheriff.
I can't leave just like that.
I'm the head of a big business here.
I have responsibilities.
Why... I'm sure you and I can settle this little matter.
Uh...
I hope you're reaching for a comb
or a handkerchief or something, 'cause we take a very dim view
of bribery in Mayberry.
Bribery's one of the things we like to watch
on account of there ain't much else to do.
Miss fenwick...
Yes, Mr. Jackson?
Have my lawyer meet me in Mayberry.
If you all are ready, we'll declare court in session.
Court's in session.
Case of Mayberry v. J. Howard Jackson.
The charge is speeding in excess of posted limits
and failure to answer a summons.
How do you plead?
Sheriff, my client...
Oh, guilty, guilty, let's get it over with.
Since the defendant pleads guilty
there's only one thing left to do,
and that's pass sentence.
Mr. J. Howard Jackson
you are hereby fined the sum of $15.
Fifteen! Wait a minute.
Do you mean to tell me
you dragged me away from my business...
Let me alone.
For a measly $15 fine?!
No, sir, you was brought in here 'cause you flouted the law
and you just can't do that.
Well, I'm surprised you didn't have
a lot of reporters and photographers around here.
Why is that?
You running for reelection or something,
trying to be a big man?
"Sheriff hauls in noted publisher."
That would be pretty nice
for a campaign speech, wouldn't it?
Oh, boy, these Hicks...
They sure love to go after big game, don't they?
Well, one of these days, you will be pushed down to size.
Let's go.
Noisy, ain't he?
You wanted to see me, Mr. Jackson?
Yes... sit down, Jean.
Are, uh...
Are you in a nosy mood these days?
A good reporter's always in a nosy mood.
Okay, this is it... Sheriff Andy Taylor
a hick burg called Mayberry.
I want every speck of dust
you can find on the good sheriff.
Look in the closets, sweep under the rugs
bring back anything that can be twisted into an article.
I want to pulverize that image.
That's a tall order, Mr. Jackson.
Most small-town sheriffs are notoriously honest.
In fact, they're like shining knights.
So that's why I'm sending you.
If he has any cracks in his armor, you can find them.
And I've never known a shining knight yet
that didn't have a few.
So yo find them.
Officer!
Uh, could I have a little information, please?
Oh, I'll handle this, Andy.
At your service, ma'am.
Oh, thank you, sheriff.
Oh, well... i'm not the sheriff.
That was the sheriff just went in there...
Sheriff Andy Taylor.
I'm deputy Fife.
Oh, hi, I'm Jean boswell.
I was wondering if you could recommend a good hotel in town.
Oh, well, the Mayberry hotel is good.
That's it right there.
Oh... well, I'm a college student, and I was wondering
how does it compare in price with some of the others?
Well, it, uh...
Uh...
Well, that... That's actually the...
The only hotel.
Well, I guess that's the one for me.
College student, you say, huh?
I'm writing a thesis on small-town administration.
I'm majoring in government.
I thought Mayberry would be a good town to research.
You sure come to the right town, all right.
And if there's ever anything I can do to help you,
why, don't you hesitate to ask me.
I'm sort of, well...
Part of the administration, you know.
Yeah, she's a cute little thing.
Probably pretty naive.
You know how these schoolkids are
when it comes to the ways of world.
So I figured we could give her a hand... no harm in that.
No, no harm at all.
It's a good thing to help out the cause of education.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Especially when the cause is kind of pretty.
Oh, hi!
Hi.
It's, uh... Miss boswell, isn't it?
Uh-huh.
I'd like you to meet our sheriff.
Andy, this is miss Jean boswell.
Miss boswell.
So, you're a college student, huh?
Yes, that's right.
Hillside university up at the capital.
Oh, that's a fine school, fine school.
Uh, would you like to take the tour
of the headquarters here now?
Oh, yes, I'd love to.
Fine.
Uh, you can, uh... Take notes if you like.
Oh, yes! That's a wonderful idea.
You ready?
Uh-huh.
Well, you are now within the confines
of the Mayberry sheriff's office and jail
one of the many administrative offices
in the town of Mayberry.
Now, here is the main cellblock.
This is cell one
this is cell two and...
And, uh... so on.
Uh... This is a heater.
Say, here's something very interesting
right over here.
Uh... this is our bulletin board
where we have fliers and bulletins
from all over the state.
Included are a.P.B.S...
Uh, that's all- points bulletins
on various wanted criminals.
I'm not going too fast for you?
Oh, no, no, just fine.
Uh, well...
Well... uh...
Uh, hey, Barn, why don't you tell her about the back room?
Uh, that's not important.
It is too!
That's where deputy Fife takes his afternoon naps.
You don't have to write that down...
Uh...
Uh, say, here's something important!
This is our gun rack!
This is where we, uh...
Keep our guns.
Well, of course,
what you see in here is just the beginning of things to come.
Things to come?
Oh, yeah, we're constantly expanding.
I mean, you ought to see
what's in the blueprint stage right now.
New, up-to-date crime lab, new wing of cell blocks,
a dispensary, a rec hall, a chapel.
Uh, well, uh, I think we've covered everything in here.
Maybe I'd better show you around the town now...
Don't you think, Andy?
You know, the mayor's office and the council chambers,
and the... don't you think so?
Oh, yeah, you do that.
Well, bye, sheriff!
Well, we'll just, uh...
Oh, uh, hurry back,
deputy, I want to hear some more about them expansion plans!
I think I have just about everything.
Well, you've been just marvelous.
Of course, there's one little thing
I can't quite get over.
Here you are the deputy
and you look more like the sheriff
than the sheriff does.
Well, take the way you dress, for instance.
You wear a complete, well-fitting uniform
and the sheriff, well...
He doesn't even wear a tie.
And I notice that his shoes are a little dusty.
Well, that is one of Andy's weak points
but all in all, uh...
One of his weak points?
Uh, well...
I bet you don't always agree with his ideas
do you?
Well, uh...
I just know that a progressive, dynamic forward-thinking man
like yourself must have some very definite ideas
as to the way things should be run.
Well, there are certain things
that I would do different
if, uh... I was running the show.
Such as?
Well...
I'd, uh... be a whole lot stricter
about certain things
if you know what I mean.
Mmm... I think so.
Well, like I always say, I...
I like to run a taut ship.
Mm-hmm.
And the sheriff, he doesn't run a taut ship?
Well, the kid is a little lax in that department.
Like how?
Well, the way he mollycoddles Otis all the time.
Otis?
The town drunk.
Why, he practically has the run of the jail.
He locks hisself up when he gets drunk
lets hisself out when he gets sober.
He just comes and goes as he pleases!
No!
Things would sure be different if you were running them.
You bet your buttons, and certain people
wouldn't get away with certain crimes, neither!
You mean crimes go unpunished?
Take the Emma Watson case.
Emma Watson?
Chronic jaywalker.
Listen, jaywalkin' is a crime.
And every blessed time
I write out a ticket for that Emma Watson,
Andy just tears it up, says she's a sweet old lady
and he ain't got the heart to prosecute her, darn softy.
The sheriff?
Softest-hearted fella you ever seen in your life.
After tearing up Emma Watson's ticket
he'd like as not give her a ride home in the squad car.
That's some way to treat a lawbreaker, huh?
You mean that the sheriff would use a squad car
for unofficial business?
Listen, once I was all set to go out on patrol...
You know where the squad car was?
Andy was making a delivery for art crowley's market.
You don't say.
Yeah.
My gosh, look at the time.
I got to get back to the office.
See things are run properly.
Well... listen now, about that thesis of yours,
is there anything more I can give you?
Oh, no... oh, no, no.
You've given me all I need.
Good.
I'll see you.
Paw, you wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
Well...
Oh, yeah!
Paw, ask me if I took a bath this morning.
Okay... did you take a bath this morning?
Why? Is there one missing?
That's pretty good, ope.
Sheriff Taylor?
Yes, sir.
My name is Roger Milton
state's attorney's office.
Oh, glad to see you, sir.
This is my deputy, Barney Fife
and my son, Opie.
What can we do for you?
If you can, I'd like to have you explain that article.
"Does the sheriff run the town
or does the town run the sheriff?"
Well, Andy, it's all about you.
"In a town called Mayberry
justice has become a farce."
Yeah.
"Malfeasance of public funds,
shocking disintegration of law enforcement..."
Them's pretty harsh words.
That's right, but you'll have a chance
to deny them at the hearing.
At the hearing?!
These are very serious charges.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to conduct a full investigation.
I have no recourse, sheriff Taylor
but to suspend you from office
pending a hearing on this matter.
Can he do that?
I can...
Under this order from the state's attorney's office.
Deputy, the hearing is set for tomorrow afternoon.
Until then, you'll be acting sheriff.
Good day, gentlemen.
Paw, ain't you gonna be sheriff anymore?
Oh, now, don't you worry.
There's just been a little mistake
and it'll all be cleared up.
Somehow or other.
When's this stupid thing gonna begin?
Presently, sheriff.
Don't call me that.
He's the only sheriff around here.
The commissioner will decide that
after the hearing.
Andy.
Yeah...
That answers a lot of questions.
That article was
in one of your publications, wasn't it?
That's right.
When you hold a grudge
you really hold it, don't you?
That's right.
Who are you gonna get to prove all them things?
Who you gonna get to say they're true?
State's attorney has a key witness
who will substantiate everything.
Uh-huh... I'll just bet.
Bribing some outsider to tell a lot of lies.
Ha! I'd sure like to get a crack
at the guy that testifies.
Low-crawlin' snake.
This hearing is now in session.
Mr. Milton, you have lodged
a charge of malfeasance in office
against Mr. Taylor here.
Are you prepared to present your bill of particulars?
Yes, commissioner.
I have a witness who will verify these facts.
Who is this witness?
Bernard Fife.
Take the stand, Mr. Fife.
Huh?
I said, take the stand.
Me?!
I'm the witness?!
Would you take the witness chair, please?
Well, how can I be a witness against Andy?
Would you mind taking the witness chair, please?
You are Bernard Fife?
Well, of course, I am.
Just answer yes or no.
Well, yeah. Good.
And is it not true that you yourself made the statement
that sheriff Taylor was lax in the fulfillment of his duties?
Where'd you get a crazy thing like that?
Allow me to put it in your own words.
Speaking of sheriff Taylor, you said, and I quote
"the kid's a little lax.
He doesn't run a taut ship."
I never said no such of a thing!
Perhaps I can refresh his memory.
Is the young lady here?
Yeah, she's outside.
If you think it's necessary...
I think it's necessary, yes.
It will simplify matters.
It's that college kid.
Andy, it's that college kid!
Commissioner, this is Jean boswell
a newspaper reporter and employee of Mr. Jackson.
A reporter!
Sit down.
This is a trick!
Sit down!
Continue, Mr. Milton.
Do you have as a frequent prisoner
Otis Campbell, the town drunk?
Well, we don't say it out like that...
Just answer yes or no.
All right, yeah.
And this town drunk is allowed
to arrest himself, to lock himself into a cell
and is then allowed to effect his own release?
When you put it like that...
Yes or no? All right, yeah.
Didn't you say that sometimes certain crimes go unpunished?
What?
Didn't you say you'd written jaywalking tickets
only to have the sheriff tear them up?
And didn't you say that the sheriff uses a squad car
for other than official business?
Didn't you say you once needed the car in the line of duty
but the sheriff was delivering groceries?
And is it not true that these are not isolated incidents?
That they happen all the time?
Didn't you say so yourself?!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Thank you.
You may step down.
Andy...
I said, you may step down.
You can say that all you want to
but I ain't steppin' down.
This is a hearing, ain't it?
Well, seems to me you ought to hear everything
not just a bunch of yeses.
Very well, you may speak if you wish to.
Thank you.
Sure, I said all them things.
But the truth is
sometimes I get carried away with myself.
When I was talkin' with the young lady there, I...
I got to braggin' a little bit.
I guess that's one of my faults.
But I sure didn't think it was gonna backfire
and be used against Andy.
Why, Andy's the best friend I got in the whole world.
And as far as I'm concerned, he's the best sheriff, too.
All them things I said...
For example, his usin' the squad car
for personal reasons.
Sure, he was deliverin' groceries to Emma Watson
because she was too sick to get down to the market.
And that's just one example
of the things Andy's done for the folks in this town.
I could give you a lot more.
You got to understand, this is a small town.
The sheriff is more than just a sheriff.
He's a friend.
And the people in this town
they ain't got a better friend than Andy Taylor.
And as far as Andy knowin' his job
I'd just like for you to take a look
in the record book, Mr. Jackson.
You know, there ain't been a major crime
committed in this town
thanks to sheriff Taylor.
The only ruckus you'd ever have in Mayberry is
if you tried to remove him from office.
Then you'd have a riot!
You ask me if Andy runs a taut ship, Mr. Milton...
Well, no, he don't.
That's because of somethin' he's been tryin' to teach me
ever since I started workin' for him.
And that is, that when you're a lawman
and you're dealin' with people
you do a whole lot better if you go not so much by the book
but by the heart.
I guess maybe that's kind of hard
for some of you to understand, I...
I don't know.
That's all I got to say.
Mr. Milton, is there any other evidence
outside of this newspaper article?
As a matter of fact, commissioner...
Just answer yes or no.
No.
Then I see no reason
to pursue this matter any further.
Sheriff Taylor...
Our apologies for any inconvenience
or embarrassment we may have caused you.
That's all right.
Does this mean that Andy's the sheriff again?
It does.
Good.
All right, Andy... go on, do it.
Do what? Punch me in the nose.
What for? For being such a blabbermouth!
Go on, I wouldn't blame you, punch me!
Oh, Barney, forget it.
Oh, Andy, if I hadn't had gone and blabbed to that girl,
you never would have gotten into that mess!
Well, it all worked out all right,
and I thought you did a fine job
explaining it all on the witness stand.
Well, the whole thing was unnecessary.
Well, it come out all right, so just forget it.
All right, Andy, but if I ever go off like that again,
you just punch me right in the nose,
or cover my mouth... Do something!
All right, I'll do it.
No kidding, now... promise me!
I guess I just need somebody around to stop me, otherwise...
Hello?
Oh, hi, Thelma Lou!
Oh, the hearing come out just fine.
You should have been here.
Well, I... I did all right for myself.
If I have to say so myself,
I kind of made a monkey out of the prosecutor.
Well, what do you mean "how"?
I just got up on the witness stand
and tied him in knots... That's how!
Yeah, I just fired one question after another
right back at him, bing-bing-bing.
Yeah, I made a fool out of him.
Uh...pulled Andy out of the mess.
Well, you know, the kid sometimes...